All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have post one night stand depression
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