Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
