There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
