just come out here and I will go home with you...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
