i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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