Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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