Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
