So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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