can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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