she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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