I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
