I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
