yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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