You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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