You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
