STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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