Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just puked most of my soul out..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
