I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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