Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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