try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
