I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
third nipple confirmed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I need to calm my uterus...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
