moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
