I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
