I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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