This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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