He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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