i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The power of my boobs compel you
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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