I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
