I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
