did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
