i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
