i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
