Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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