I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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