You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
