So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
