hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
