is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
