Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
