Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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