Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I believe in your delicious
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
