he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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