ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up under a house in Key West
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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