She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
