ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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