Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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