If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
