Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
