hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
