Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
