weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
