dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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