Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
