You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
