Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
